Jesabell Smith
Sept. 12, 1862
My teacher, Mr. Hank, gave me this diary. Mr Hank has been teaching me to read and write for about 3 months now. He has been teaching me late at night when my master is asleep and the sky is black as my skin. He thought that it would be a good time for me to have one of these books.
Today, my master, Master Charles, gave Mrs. Jane a beating. She forgot to put the cotton in the right basket and he whipped her on her back. She went straight back to work with tears coming down her eyes. I went back to my work, picking cotton with my naked hands. I was told to go to the far fields to get the “better cotton” I had to carry a 50 lbs. of cotton back to my cabin to weave. My hands were covered in blood.
Sept. 22, 1862
Late last night, I heard Mr Hank talking to my mother. He said, “I am trying to get my buddy, John, to lend me a few of his boats.”, my mother asked,”Why, what for?”. He replied, “I am trying to get you, Jesabell, and your son out of this terrible place.” “I am planning an escape for slaves!!” he said.
I woke up this morning happy and worried. I was happy with what Mr Hank was talking to mother about. I was worried, because today, could be the day that Master Charles finds out about Mr Hank and his plan. I went to go pick cotton, but Master Charles came around and said, “Where do you think your going?”. “Sir, I am going to pick cotton in the far fields.” He told me” Go clean, groom, feed, and brand my horses, from now on.” “Yes, sir.’’, I replied.
I went over to the horse stables. When I first got their I noticed that Tommie, Mrs Jane’s son, was also working there. I started to clean a horse when Tommie walked up and said, “Hi.”, I said “Hey, why are you over here working here?” He looked down and did not answer me. I guessed that he had been beaten for what his mother did. So, I went back to my work, cleaning to best horse I had ever seen.
When I had finished cleaning up for the night at the stables, Tommie walked me back to my cabin, since his was right next door. I went to my mother and told her all about my new day. She was happy that I was in the cool air and not out in the cotton fields all day. My mother works in the kitchen in Master Charles house. She said it is a happy place, she is with her friends.
I went to bed thinking and wondering what would happen if Master Charles ever found out about Mr Hank’s plans. Mr Hank was a brave and strong man, I said to myself. He know’s what he’s doing, right?
Sept. 24, 1862
Today was my 3rd day working with the horses. I was grooming one of the horses, when I cut her tail hair short! I didn’t mean to at all! I was so scared, I saw Master Charles coming over! I felt like crying but instead I turned the horse around and started brushing her head. He walked around the horse. He started on the front of her body, he never said a thing, he went to the back and saw the tail. He look at Tommie, then to me. He turned toward me and said, “What have you done!”, I replied, “ I did not mean too, I really didn’t. I just went to cut her tail hair and my hand slipped.
The next thing I knew I was being whipped with the leather whip! I was trying to hold in my screaming and crying but I just could not, I started to cry. I was on the ground and he was still whipping me. I thought he would never stop, never. He told Tommie to get me up off the ground. He told me if that ever happened again he would whip me.................
When I told and showed my mother she burst into tears. I felt like I had let her down. I felt that I would never get out of this terrible place. My mother called to my brother, “You go get the oil from the floor over their.” He went to get it. She put it on my back and it hurt, I winced and cried. I felt terrible! I am a failure, I said to myself that night when I was crying. I did not sleep at all that night, I was in so much pain.
Dec. 2, 1862
It has been a week and a day since Master Charles whipped me. My back looks like it had just happened this morning. I have not been able to sleep, I have been in so much pain. I have been thinking to much about mother, Mr Hank, and that terrible Master Charles.
I have been going to the stables everyday, and watching my hands. Today, I had to take care of the master’s horse, Champ. Champ is a long legged, strong, and very tall. Master Charles wife, Amber, came out wearing her long, gold, and big dress. Mrs Amber is a very nice lady, nothing like her husband. She watched me carefully. They also have a 12 year old daughter named, Matilda.
I really don’t know what Matilda is like. I have only seen her when her teacher comes, because they work outside on the porch.
Anyway, I cleaned that horse so well there was nothing, nothing cleaner than that horse a mile ahead. That night my mother and Mr Hank, were talking again. Mother told Mr Hank, what had happened to me. He was very surprised and sad. Mother called for me to come see Mr Hank. She lifted up my shirt and showed him. He took a cloth and put a little bit of what on it. It stung but it kinda felt better in a way. I went to bed and let mother and Mr Hank talk.
Jan. 3 1863
Will I ever get out of this terrible place??
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